Recruiting Your Village: Let the People Who Care About You Help You

by Jess Jacobson, Director of Recruiting | NJ Thunder & The Fieldhouse

As the founder of a recruiting company—and more importantly, as someone who has spent years guiding student-athletes through this journey—I want to share something simple, but essential:

You don’t have to do this alone. And honestly, you shouldn’t.

There are adults in your life—parents, coaches, teachers, mentors, and yes, recruiting professionals—who want to help you. Who care deeply about where you land, not just as a player, but as a human.

This process isn’t just about emailing coaches and posting videos. It’s about figuring out:

• What matters to you

• What kind of life you want to live in college

• What kind of support system, team culture, and academic path will help you grow

It’s also about understanding how to communicate—how to present your story in a way that makes sense to coaches. I’ve been around enough to know what a coach might need to hear to understand you. I’ve sat on the other side of those calls and read thousands of those emails. I’ve seen what works. Let me share that with you.

Let your people guide you. Listen. Ask questions. Take feedback. Lean into your strengths, and let us help you develop your voice and your path.

 How to Listen to Your Parents During the Recruiting Process

• Assume good intentions – Start with the belief that your parents are trying to help, not control.

• Stay open-minded – Even if their advice feels off, ask yourself, “What might they be seeing that I’m not?”

• Write down their feedback – Take notes instead of reacting right away. Revisit it later when emotions are low.

• Have conversations, not debates – The goal isn’t to win; it’s to understand each other better.  Ask questions like: “What makes you think that’s a good fit for me?” or “Why do you think that coach would like that message?”

• Acknowledge their role – Say things like “Thanks for caring so much about this” or “I know you’ve seen more than I have.”

 How to Tell Them You're in a Moment You Don't Need Advice (and Just Need Love)

• Use “I” statements – “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, and I just need you to listen.”

• Set the tone early – Before a conversation starts, say, “I don’t need solutions right now—just someone to hear me out.”

• Create a signal – Pick a phrase like “Parent mode only!” that signals when you need support, not strategy.

• Schedule the serious talks – Ask: “Can we talk about recruiting stuff tomorrow? Tonight I just want to chill and be your kid.”

• Be honest, not harsh – “I appreciate your help so much, but right now I really need encouragement more than advice.”

• Recognize their effort – Say, “It means a lot that you care this much. Even when I push back, I hear you.”

This is your journey, but you’re not walking it alone. Let us walk with you.